Alexander Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The average Englishman, in his home he calls his castle, puts on his national costume - A shabby Raincoat patented by Charles MacIntosh of Glasgow, Scotland. He drives a car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland. At the office he receives his mail with adhesive stamps which, although they bear the queen of England`s head, were invented by John Chambers of Dundee, Scotland. During the day he uses the telephone, Invented by Alexander Graham Bell of Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening he watches his daughter ride her bicycle, invented by Kilpatrick MacMillan, A Blacksmith from Dumfries, Scotland. He watches the news on television which was invented by John Logie Baird of Helensburough Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland. He has now been reminded too much of Scotland, and in desperation picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI - more...

    Alexander and Kermit

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    What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

    (The PBS "American Masters" series did a show on Mort Sahl, who had
    these anecdotes about Alexander Haig:)
    Haig offered Sahl a Cuban cigar, whereupon Sahl wondered how an
    anti-communist such as Haig could be supporting Cuba by smoking their
    cigars. Haig replied that he preferred to think of it as burning their
    crops to the ground.
    Sahl and Haig were discussing Henry Kissinger. Sahl mentioned that, of
    course, Kissinger could not be the US President since he was not born
    in the US. Haig said, no, that's a common misconception, Kissinger was
    born in the US. "How did he get that accent?" asked Sahl. Haig
    replied, "From never listening to anybody."

    The country called the Land of Rising Sun is Japan
    Mount Everest was named after Sir George Everest
    The volcano Vesuvias is located in Italy
    The country known as the Suger Bowl of the world is Cuba
    The length of the Suez Canal is 162.5 kilometres
    The lowest point on earth is the coastal area of Dead Sea
    The Gurkhas are the original inhabitants of Nepal
    The largest ocean of the world is the Pacific ocean
    The largest bell in the world is the Tsar Kolkol at Kremlin, Moscow
    The biggest stadium in the world is the Strahov Stadium, Prague
    The world's largest diamond producing country is South Africa
    Australia was discovered by James Cook
    The first Governor General of Pakistan is Mohammed Ali Jinnah
    Dublin is situated at the mouth of River Liffey
    The earlier name of New York city was New Amsterdam
    The Eiffel tower was more...

    Alexander, looking as if he had lost his last friend, entered a restaurant one morning and sat down at a table. Alexander quietly said to the waitress, "Bring me two eggs fried hard, a slice of toast burned to a black cinder, and a cup of very weak coffee."As the waitress set the order in front of him, she asked, "Anything else, sir?""Yes," Alexander answered. "Would you please sit down and nag me. I'm homesick."

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