Agony Jokes

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite sugar cookies wafting up the stairs.
He gathered enough strength to get out bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom.
With even greater effort, he forced his boney fingers to grab the handrail and he went down the stairs, one stumbling step at a time.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There, on the kitchen table, spread out in rows upon wax paper, were literally hundreds of his favorite sugar cookies.
Was it heaven? Or, was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of 60 years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he lunged toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture.
His parched lips were slightly parted. The wondrous taste of more...

On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.

What is the definition of Agony? A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

Three men wandered to jungles and were captured by a tribe of natives. The chief came to the men and said, "You have crossed our tribal land and now must be punished. You have a choice, Bunda or death."

The first man said,"Well... I don't want to die so I chose Bunda!" The whole tribe lined up and gave it to him up the arse. He crawled away in agony. The chief looked to the second man and told him to choose.

The second man said,"well... that looked painful as hell, but it's better than death... I choose Bunda!" So, again the whole tribe lines up and gives it up the arse to the second man and he crawls away in agony.

The Third man said, "Fuck this, I want DEATH!"

The Chief turn the the tribe and yelled, "DEATH BY BUNDA!!!!"

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death''s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite sugar cookies wafting up the stairs.

He gathered enough strength to get out bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom.

With even greater effort, he forced his boney fingers to grab the handrail and he went down the stairs, one stumbling step at a time.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death''s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.

There, on the kitchen table, spread out in rows upon wax paper, were literally hundreds of his favorite sugar cookies.

Was it heaven? Or, was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of 60 years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he lunged toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture.

His parched more...