Aggressive Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Name: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
    Location: Throughout the world
    Description: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra
    layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous
    spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) Size varies from 3 to 12
    inches, depending on its mood & subspecies.
    Symptoms: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,
    resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by
    excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware:
    It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!
    Habitat: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most
    unusual places.
    Antidote: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the
    venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete
    recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
    What To Do more...

    A vicious German Shepherd dog lived at one house on the mail man's route. The dog was so aggressive the letter carrier feared he would be bitten and the U.S. Postal Service was forced to suspend mail delivery to protect their employee.
    After several weeks of having to pick up their mail at the Post Office, the dog's owner took steps to solve the problem.
    He met the mail man out on the sidewalk and told him he would no longer have to fear the dog being so aggressive because they had its testicles removed.
    "You've got to be kidding," said the letter carrier, "why didn't you have his teeth removed? I wasn't afraid of him screwing me!"
    Lyle's Joke Boutique.

    NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
    LOCATION: Worldwide
    DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with a mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit which can reach distances of up to 2-3 feet. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & subspecies.
    SYMPTOMS: Attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen.
    HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
    ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote.
    WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:-
    TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the more...

    NAME: Expecteria Trouserius (Trouser Snake)
    LOCATION: Throughout the world
    DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and sub-species.
    SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, resulting in an incurable disease and consequent death.
    HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in unusual places.
    ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
    WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED
    TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.
    CUTTING THE WOUND: more...

    How many Passive Aggressive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Oops.I can't believe I broke the last one. I guess you'll have to sit in the dark.

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