Aforementioned Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the follow- ing agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumina- tion of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement be- tween the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall more...

    Whereas, on an occasion immediately
    preceding the Nativity festival,
    throughout a certain dwelling unit,
    quiet descended, in which could be heard
    no disturbance, not even the sound
    emitted by a diminutive rodent related
    to, and in form resembling, a rat; and
    Whereas, the offspring of the
    occupants had affixed their tubular,
    closely knit coverings for the nether
    limbs to the flue of the fireplace in
    expectation that a personage known as
    St.Nicholas would arrive; and
    Whereas, said offspring had become
    somnolent, and were entertaining re:
    saccharine-flavored fruit; and
    Whereas, the adult male of the
    family, et ux, attired in proper
    headgear, had also become quiescent in
    anticipation of nocturnal inertia; and
    Whereas, a distraction on the snowy
    acreage outside aroused the owner to
    investigate; and
    Whereas, he perceived in a most
    unbelieving manner a vehicle propelled
    by eight domesticated more...

    Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second party (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.
    The aforementioned removal transaction more...

    Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A0: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.A1: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb.A2: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...A3: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not more...

    'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.
    The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing various subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebra. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal cranial coverings, were about to take slumbrous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a more...

  • Recent Activity