Adolf Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A guy walks into a bar in Argentina. He sees a familiar character, albeit much older now, sitting at the bar. He approaches, examines his face, and asks:
    "Excuse me, but aren't you Adolf Hitler?"
    "Vy yes, I am Adolf Hitler."
    "But I thought you were dead!"
    "Ach. I get a lot of dat. But in fact, I am chust biding my time, planning a scheme to kill fifty million Jews and eight of der Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders."
    "What?" the guy exclaims. "Why would you want to kill eight of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders?"
    Hitler turns to another fellow sitting at the bar next to him. "You see vat I mean? Nobody gives a damn about da Jews!!!"

    When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like "data input" and "beta version." They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.
    Now that I've worked in a computer company for the last few years, I've gained an insider's perspective. I decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary:
    Alpha. Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
    Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."
    Computer. Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger "Duffy" Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On more...

    The parents of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell are upset that a New Jersey supermarket denied an order to make a birthday cake with their son's name on it. The parents are also upset that the supermarket did not carry birthday candles shaped like swastikas.

    A German man rapes a woman and when he is finished he stands to attention and says,
    In 9 monthz you vill have za baby und you vill call him Adolf.
    She replies,
    In 9 days you will get a rash and you can call it German measles if you like.

    Knock KnockWhos there! Adolf! Adolf who? Adolf ball hit me in the mouth!

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