In 1945, Adolf Hitler was really kicked to death by a five year old Chuck Norris.
A German man rapes a woman and when he is finished he stands to attention and says,
In 9 monthz you vill have za baby und you vill call him Adolf.
In 9 days you will get a rash and you can call it German measles if you like.
A guy walks into a bar in Argentina. He sees a familiar character, albeit much older now, sitting at the bar. He approaches, examines his face, and asks:
"Excuse me, but aren't you Adolf Hitler?"
"Vy yes, I am Adolf Hitler."
"But I thought you were dead!"
"Ach. I get a lot of dat. But in fact, I am chust biding my time, planning a scheme to kill fifty million Jews and eight of der Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders."
"What?" the guy exclaims. "Why would you want to kill eight of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders?"
Hitler turns to another fellow sitting at the bar next to him. "You see vat I mean? Nobody gives a damn about da Jews!!!"
Adolf Hitler dies and finds himself in front of the door of Hell. He knocks, Satan opens the door and asks: "What's your name?"
"Adolf Hitler", he replies. Satan is flabbergasted. "Adolf Hitler? I know what you did on Earth and there's not way I am going to take you in. Indeed, this is Hell, but there's a limit to everything. Hey, why don't you go to Heaven? Follow the road, there's a big door on the right, you can't miss it."
Elated by this stroke of luck, Hitler starts walking towards Heaven.
The following day, there's a knock at the door of Hell. Satan opens and finds Jesus standing outside.
"Jesus, what are you doing here?", he asks, surprised.
And Jesus replies: "I just escaped from the camp and would like to apply for political asylum!"
Adolf ball hit me in the mouth!