Addresses Jokes

A Toronto, a Waterloo and a Queens student were in an airplane that
crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white
throne. God addresses The Waterloo student first.
"What do you believe in?"
The Waterloo student replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion
engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that
if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and
we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and
sit at my right."
God then addresses the Queen's Student; "Well, I believe in power to the
people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things
and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I
also believe in feeling people's pain."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come
and sit at my left."
God then more...

Microsoft Addresses Justice Department AccusationsREDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 23, 1997 - In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum."It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth", said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, "It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone".

Microsoft Addresses Justice Department AccusationsREDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 23, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum." It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth", said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, "It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone".

Two aliens land in Metro Detriot, and they happen to land next
to a gas station. So, the aliens waddle out of their ship and
look around. The first thing they see that resembles an
intelligent being is the gas pump. The two Aliens approach and
the first one says "Earthling, take me to your leader!"
Of course he gets no response.
The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again.
"Earthling, I said TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!" Of course, still no
response.... The first Alien then turns to the second and says
"If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect and at least
acknowledge me I'm going to blast him!" At that the second Alien
replies "O. K, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."
The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other
to waddle to the next block. He then addresses the pump a third
time. "Earthling take me to your more...

Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and look around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach.
The first one says "Earthling take me to your leader!"
He gets no response.
The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again. "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!"
Still no response.
The first Alien then turns to the second and says, "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!"
The second Alien replies "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."
The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next block. He then addresses pump a third time.
"Earthling take me to your leader!"
No response.
The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump. After the explosion the Alien gets up, dusts himself off then more...