Actor Jokes / Recent Jokes

An unemployed actor is getting pretty desperate for work. He happens upon this guy from the zoo and he's looking for actors. The guy explains that they spent so much money on getting the habitat just right, they ran out of money to import the ape they wanted. They want to hire the actor to be that ape. Although the guy thinks this is pretty stupid, he takes the job anyway.
The first few days, the actor just sits there thinking he doesn't look real and that no one is stupid enough to fall for this stunt. He gets bored and decides to walk around and examine his little cage. With this, he notices that people are watching his every move. He decides to give them a show. After a couple weeks, he's swinging on the poles and dancing around making a lot of gorilla noises and is drawing quite a crowd.
One day he's showing off for a group of kids. He is swinging around and around a pole when all of a sudden, his hand slips and he goes flying over the cage wall and right into the lion's more...

Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows? Because at last he was in the noose.

An actor went to see a new agent one day and said, `You must have a look at my act, it really is innovative.' So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the room a few times and landed smoothly on the agent's desk. `So you do bird impressions,' said the agent, `what else can you do?'

Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent? The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

A bit-part actor finally got his first leading role in a major film. In one scene the actor had to jump off a high diving board in to a swimming pool. He climed to the top of the board, looked down and promptly climbed down again. `What's the matter?' asked the director. `I can't jump from that board!' said the actor. `Do you know there's only one foot of water in that pool?'' Yes,' said the director. `We don't want you to drown, you know.'

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it's all play.

What is an Actor? A man who tries to be everything but himself