Achieve Jokes / Recent Jokes

Redmond, Wash.
April 1, 1998
Microsoft today announced the newest addition to its popular Windows (TM) line of computer operating systems. Code named Atlantis, the newest offering will be officially known as Win '00, pronounced Windows double zero.
At the gala press conference, complete with red, white, and blue lights bathing the stage, Bill Gates, President and CEO of Microsoft, personally made the announcement. Multicast to every corner of the world, Gates spoke to the huge crowd of computer press, as a 60 foot high video screen behind him showed his face, and Aerosmith sang their hit 'Dream On' in the background.
"We are on the verge of the new millenium, and Microsoft is ready to lead the way into the new century. Just as we have been on the forefront of technology, claiming every advance in computing, we will now set the newest standard in the market. Taking the concept of the Virtual machine to its next logical evolutionary stage, our new operating system more...

An assistant editor on “The Bachelor” has quit his job and pledged, along with his fiancée, to abstain from sex and verbal communication for 3 years, 3 months, and 3 days - on a quest to achieve “nirvana.” Sounds like they’re on a quest to achieve “marriage.”

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve immortality through not dying.