Accompanied Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you dont follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. "Dont burden him with chores. Dont discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "He said youre going to die," she replied.

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor
called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a
very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to be
pleasant in general, and make sure he stays in a good mood. For lunch make him a
nutritious meal. For dinner prepare something nice and healthy again. Don't burden him
with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will
only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several
times a week and satisfy his every whim. "If you can do this for the next 1 to 2
months, I think your husband will regain his health completely. On the way home, the
husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going more...

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside andsaid, "If you don't do the following, your husband willsurely die". 1. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2. At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work. 3. For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't burden him with household chores. 4. Have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim. On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctorhad told her." You're going to die," she replied.

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2001 Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure. ESCAPEE. Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE). Definition: more...

2004 SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR TAKING A DUMP AT WORK

We've all been there but don't like to admit it.
We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something a brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those of you who hate pooping at work, here is the 2004 Survival Guide for Taking a Dump at Work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an ESCAPEE, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an
ESCAPEE; it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel more...

Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car & speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee): When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun's pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet more...