Abe Jokes / Recent Jokes
It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caughtbetween towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finallyslid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby. They waded through the drifts to the house, and after a shortconversation with the lady who answered the door, they were able toconvince her that they were no danger to her, and she let them come in. She prepared a meal for them, and during the conversation Abe andMorey learned that she was a widow of a few years standing. Conditions continued to deteriorate, and she prepared the guest roomfor Abe and Morey. The next day about 10: 00 AM, a snowplow came through and helpfullypulled the salesmen's car our of the ditch, after cleaning the road. Abe and Morey thanked th widow Brown and went on their rounds. Nine months later, Abe called Morey, and asked if Morey had, by somechance, more...
Knock Knock Who's there? Adolf! Adolf who? Adolf ball hit me in the mouth! Knock Knock Who's there? Aesop! Aesop who? Aesop I saw a puddy cat! Knock Knock Who's there? Abe! Abe who? Abe C D E F G H...! Knock Knock Who's there? Abyssinia! Abyssinia who? Abyssinia behind bars one of these days! Knock Knock Who's there? Alberta! Alberta who! Alberta'll be over in a minute!
Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies. He manages to make contact with Abe the next day. Abe says, "I can't believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?" Max replies, "Well, it's great, but I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is that there's a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we're playing "Sheherezade," your favorite piece, tomorrow night!" Abe says, "So what's the bad news?" Max replies, "Well, you're booked to play the solo!"
Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies.
He manages to make contact with Abe the next day.
Abe says, "I can`t believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?"
Max replies, "Well, it`s great, but I`ve got good news, and I`ve got bad news. The good news is that there`s a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we`re playing "Sheherezade," your favorite piece, tomorrow night!"
Abe says, "So what`s the bad news?"
Max replies, "Well, you`re booked to play the solo!"
Sam and Abe, now in their eighties, first met in grade school. Their relationship now is playing cards, playing jokes and making bets.
One day Sam calls Abe and says "I bet you that mine is longer soft than yours is hard. A thousand dollars."
Abe replies "How can that be? If you know anything about biology you....
Sam interrupts "I called for a bet, not a lecture. Mine is longer soft than yours is hard... A thousand dollars... YES OR NO?"
Abe says, "OK OK I'll take that bet. How long is yours soft?"
Sam answers "Eleven years"