90-year-old Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Our secretary heard this during a talent show at a retirement village.
    A retirement village decided to hold a Singles Dance, at which this
    very sweet 90-year-old gentleman met a very sweet 90-year-old lady,
    and they danced and talked and laughed, and just hit it off great.
    They continued to see each other for a while and enjoyed each other
    so much, and danced so well together, etc., that they decided to
    get married.
    On their wedding night, they went to bed and he reached over and took her
    hand and squeezed it, and she squeezed his hand back, and they went to
    sleep.
    On the second night, when they went to bed, he reached over and
    squeezed her hand, and she squeezed his hand back, and they went to sleep.
    On the third night, he reached over and took her hand, and she said, "Not
    tonight, honey, I have a headache."

    A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I
    have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do
    you think about that?"

    The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I
    have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season.
    One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally
    picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.

    When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the
    stream. He raised his umbrella and went,' bang, bang' and the
    rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

    The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

    The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

    While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought George W. Bush was doing as President. The old man said, "Ya know, Bush is a post turtle." Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was. He said, "Did you ever drive down a country road and come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor thing down. That's a post turtle."

  • Recent Activity