747 Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

    The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were often short-tempered. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing. Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active." Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, Im looking up the gate location now." Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didnt stop."

    The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing. Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active." Ground: "Good Morning, taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now." Ground (impatiently): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I more...

    Why do blondes have T. G. I. F. printed on each shoe?
    "Toes Go In First."
    What is the mating call of a blonde?
    "I think I'm getting drunk"
    What is the mating call of the brunette?
    "Is the blonde bitch gone yet?"
    What do blondes say after sex?
    "Who were those men?"
    Why do blondes wear panties?
    "To keep their ankles warm!"
    How do blondes turn on the lights after sex?
    "Open the car door!"
    What does a blonde have in common with an airplane?
    "They both have a black box."
    What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
    "Goes Home."
    What does a blonde wear behind her ears to attract men?
    "Her ankles!"
    What do you call a blonde with a dollar over her head?
    "All You Can Eat, Under a Dollar!"
    What does a blonde have in common with a turtle?
    "If they end up on their back, they're more...

    The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport are infamous for being a short tempered lot. They not only expect you to know your parking location but also how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (United 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and the pilot of a British Airways 747 (callsign Speedbird 206).

    Speedbird: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206, clear of the active."

    Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."

    The BA 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

    Ground (brusquely): "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

    Speedbird: "Standby, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."

    Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never been to Frankfurt before?"

    Speedbird (coolly): "Yes, several times in 1944, but I didn't stop."

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