499 Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Attorney to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?" Witness: "Approximately milepost 499." Attorney: "And where is milepost 499?" Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."

    Judge to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?"Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?"Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."

    Actual word for word quotes from the witness stand. . .
    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July fifteenth.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.

    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

    Q: How old is your son-the one living with you.
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
    A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy? ”
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.

    Q: And where was the location of the accident?
    A: Approximately milepost 499.
    Q: And where is milepost 499?
    A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

    Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
    A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

    Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
    A: After the accident?
    Q: Before the more...

    These are things people have actually said in court, word for word.
    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July fifteenth.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.
    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
    Q: How old is your son-the one living with you.
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.
    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.
    Q: And where was the location of the accident?
    A: Approximately milepost 499.
    Q: And where is milepost 499?
    A: more...

    Judge to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?" Witness: "Approximately milepost 499." Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?" Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."

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